Breaking Dawn Summary: Book 3 Part 1

19. Burning

Pain: 28 occurrences, Reality: 6 occurrences, Body: 13 occurrences, Baby: 12 occurrences, Fire: 21 occurrences, Burn/Burning/Burned: 13 occurrences, Blackness: 6 occurrences.  That should give you a basic overview.  Bella repeats the last chapter from her point of view, uses the memory of friends and family to hang on to life (why??) then remains amazingly indifferent while describing pain, using numbers to emphasize her degree of pain more often than needed.  Oh, and the chapter ends with Bella opening her eyes in wonder.

20. New

Read this chapter if you ever want to learn about mysteriously undiscovered colours of the visible spectrum, individual grains of wood, how light reflects off dust motes, the scent of silk, the smell of almost-honey-lilac-and-sun-flavored scents – Edward’s scent, cinnamon, hyacinth, pear, seawater, rising bread, pine, vanilla, leather, apple, moss, lavender, and chocolate-scented Cullens, and abuse of similes.  Bella proceeds to half-attack Edward, one of the best scenes in the novel, only to stop in realization and brood on for about 3 pages on the beauty of Edward.  They kiss for a while and chat for a while.  Alice brings Bella a mirror, hence, the infamous "Oh well," I said lightly, relieved that my thoughts were still my own. "I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty.". 

21. First Hunt

Bella jumps out the window.  Shame that she’s a vampire now.  She and Edward frolic through the forest.  Using her Smeyerpire powers, she chases after some poor, innocent elk.  Midway, she catches the scent of some poor, innocent human and changes course.  In the middle of an unusually deserted forest behind a random mansion, at that exact time, a human just happened to walk by just as Bella put her senses to the test.  I consider this to be the second-best scene in the book, as she had that much potential of attacking and potentially crippling her husband right then and there.  But noo, she uses her spektakulur Sue powahrs to disobey her newborn instincts.  It turns out that Bella’s power of love overrules her natural instincts.  Huh.  They go and increase said power over a nice feast of poor innocent lions.  Um..

22. Promised

Edward and Bella talk about their mutant for a while, then are intercepted by Jacob, who has not yet revealed his imprintation to Bella.  He offers himself up as a preliminary human sacrifice, which Bella accepts.  Unfortunately, she is turned off by his smell and spares his life.  Heavily guarded by the rest of the Cullens, she notes her child’s mutation, then takes a single step forward, resulting in a chain of conversation that displays her clearly Sue-ish powers for those who missed it the first time.  Eventually, mother is allowed to hold her own daughter.  Renesmee touches Bella’s face and demonstrates her SueSpawn^TM abilities later to be explained.  She and Jacob argue, then Bella finally realizes the reason behind Jacob’s infatuation at the most coincidentally convenient time possible.  She snaps once hearing Jacob’s absolutely adorable nickname of ‘Nessie’, and leaps.

23. Memories

Nothing actually happens in this chapter, it’s basically a rundown of events, because you obviously didn’t catch them in the last 500-ish pages.  Seth had apparently gotten in between Jacob and Bella before the collision, how noble of him.  Disputes with Sam’s pack have been settled because of Jacob’s imprinting.  Charlie is pissed.  Renesmee’s rapid growth mutation is noted on.  Her SueSpawn^TM abilities are demonstrated once again.  Bella and Edward are annoyed at Jacob’s predicament.  Jasper is irritated by Bella’s SuperSue abilities.  Leah is shunted aside in half a sentence, likely not to play any major part in the remainder of the “plot”.  Blatant foreshadowing about other vampire covens.  Bella joins Edward in his obsession with watching children sleep.  Alice suddenly springs up and wishes Bella a happy 19^th birthday.  What the hell.

24. Surprise

Edward and Alice play a nice game of mental rock paper scissors.  They play spider monkey in the middle of the woods, and Alice reveals her birthday present from Esme and the Cullens: a tiny lavender grey natural stone cottage that has much more boring description.  Alice bails on Edward and Bella, effectively hurting her feelings temporarily.  The newlyweds explore the  house, chat for a bit, have sex, chat while having sex, then laugh while having sex, and the motion of our laughter did interesting things to the way our bodies were connected, effectively ending that conversation.  The contents of that conversation?  Nothing perceivably important.

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